Tags: Ending Sexism
The men who perpetrate sexist attitudes, sexist remarks and sexual assault still don't get it, even after all the media attention the #Me Too has gotten. They really do feel immune to the effects of their assaults on their victims. It seems that they really do not care about women and girls. They refuse to change. They simply refuse to act like they care and as if it doesn't even matter. What especially offends is when demeaning comments are directed at a family member, even a young girl but never a male. How insanely callous is that, their own flesh & blood and young children at that. This is what I am dealing with in my own family.
What is it going to take to get men to stop these attacks on women, children and girls, sometimes as young as toddlers? Their cruelty astounds me. Instead of trash talking females of all ages, why not stand up for them instead? Why not walk away from male conversations that trash-talk women and girls? Better yet, say something to make it stop? Men have no backbone, not even when it comes to their family members. It's sickening. This is male privilege.
Have I experienced sexual harassment? Of course I have. I'm female so you can take that for granted. It happens to every female, no exceptions. We get it in the workplace. We get it in public places. We get it in family gatherings. We get it in places of higher learning. We get it in the local hardware store. We get it everywhere. Sometimes it's a violent attack, sometimes it's less vicious yet still very frightening and intimidating. Sometimes it's implied and sometimes it's so subtle that we sound like angry people looking for a victim to attack when we talk about it. Believe me, when you've been victim to the covert sexist attacks, you know it. You can feel it in the knot in your gut.
Some of the worst perpetrators in my life are family members. A number of years back, my uncle made a comment about young girls luring grown men so it's the girl's fault when men sexually assault them. I was stunned and incredulous. I replied that every girl, every woman is some man's daughter. I doubt I got through to him.
The person who has made the biggest, worst impact on my life and on my children's lives is in the family I married into. When I was visiting family over US Thanksgiving recently, my b-i-l made a rude, sexist joke about his wife's mental state because she is a woman. Right in the middle of the #Me Too news cycle! I was horror struck. He STILL thinks it's ok to demean women. He is furious with me because I told him to stop the female bashing. Can you imagine? There is no way to get through to this man. From the day I met him, he demeaned his sister, me and any other female he thought of. I watched him demean my little daughter as she grew up, at the same time encouraging my son. There in a nutshell, is sexism.
It is designed to beat down females, even young girls, to undermine their sense of worth and contribution to the world. My son was NEVER a target in this manner. This is a close family member who claims to care for his niece and nephew. Unbelievable.
I told b-i-l to stop trashing his wife and other females. He said he was just making a joke. A joke at anyone's expense is not funny, it's cruel. Because it was phrased in joke form, it was tough to complain about it without sounding like a harridan but you know it's mean-spirited when it gives you a lump in the gut. That lump is still there.
I told my him I will never again let him off the hook for his sexist statements. His dear, lovely wife told me he didn't mean it and I should brush it off. Then why did he say it? Of course he meant it. She just wants everyone to get along. He accused me of making trouble but I reminded him that I was not the one who started it and that he is the one raising his very loud voice. I just want it to stop. I owe this to my daughter, d-i-l and tiny granddaughters.
After all, this female bashing is why Hillary Rodham Clinton lost the election of November 8, 2017, and Donald Trump lives in the White House.